the demystification project

picture this:

2008-11-25T01:18:00.001-06:00

wake up, take a shower
wash hair, soap body
rinse body, dry body
put deodorant on, (shave)
take pills, put clothes on
leave for work or school,
realize that you didn’t
brush your teeth.
just like falling in love,
isn’t it?

the dark is empty, most of our heroes have been wrong

2008-11-25T00:49:00.001-06:00

LET’S SPEND A LONELY
BEER SOAKED EVENING TOGETHER
LET’S COAT OUR BALLS WITH PEANUT BUTTER
AND BLAST THE KINKS
LET’S BREAK THE CORDLESS AND
SMASH THE DALI
LET’S SPEND CHRISTMAS EVE
STARING AT THE STEREO AND
LISTENING TO OUR BEER GET WARM
LET’S SPEND A LOVELY
BEER SOAKED EVENING TOGETHER

Canada 5, USA 2

2008-11-25T00:47:00.000-06:00

Canada 5, USA 2
they won the gold medal
in men’s hockey and
we looked at model homes
that we could never afford
and fishtail palm trees and
flamingoes with tracking bands
we walked through a jungle
we saw the gardens of christ,
we confronted religion by
walking away towards the
alligators, they were more
interesting anyway. the
kookaburras didn’t laugh
at us. the emu’s guarded
their eggs. you went in
the reptile house, i stayed
with the tortoises. we went
home, you left for the
grocery store, i let the
dog out and Canada
won the gold medal in
men’s hockey

in love with a headache

2008-11-25T00:46:00.001-06:00

i sat down with my head
pounding, to write a poem for
you
i sat down lacking the
motivation to breathe, and
i wrote a poem for you
the lines write themselves and
the poem takes form for you
your love clouds my mind
and pulses against my ears
my fingers cannot hold the pen
but the poem is done

trust leads to complacency, pt. zwei

2008-11-25T00:37:00.004-06:00

trust leads to some good shit too,

coming home and turing the heat down,

drinking the budweiser

while watching intervention

after a not-so-hardworked shift

at a job that i dig

and poking the buppy to make

sure that he's still breathing, and

checking the princess and lonely socks

to make sure they're warm

enough.

that makes the previous experiments
worthwhile.

we'll start a band someday.

2008-11-25T00:25:00.003-06:00

i've only wanted to be
lyrical and dangerous;
now i'm dad, daddio, big guy,
breadwinner, bacon fanatic,
nickname-giver, fun-uncle,
sandwhich loving, diaper changing,
nap buddy, banana bread making,
self-doubting, gourd baseballing,
dance recital anticipating, proud of an A on a math test,
me.
and lyrical and dangerous
don't mean so much.

safety inspector romance

2008-11-25T00:20:00.002-06:00

you came to my lips
in explosive crystal flames,
called in sick (again)
to be with you, yet
you're here and mindfloat
carries me away.
there's painful, but not
because of you.
wait for strength and
it may be worth it,
soul doubt swimwaves - it's
pictures of you that
tether my feelings to
less ethereal rationale,
emanations of caring loving-kindness -
purely incidental?
pull the window shade, there's
unlived
lives staring at you
through panes.

your satisfaction is my saddest fiction.

2008-11-25T00:17:00.002-06:00

the young believe they can
outlive it...
the middle aged believe they can
outsmart it...
the old believe that they can
hide from it...

failure complete

2008-11-25T00:13:00.002-06:00

i've thought long,
hard, and often,
about what to say
when i meet you.
no words seem adequate,
no sentiment exact.
i want to convey
the awe i was in before you arrived,
how excited i've
been to see your face.
i can't help but wonder -
is your laugh lyrical?
is your cry grating or
beautiful?
is your nose Polish?
in what way
will i
ruin
your life?

this is the material plane, and it could use a good sanding

2008-11-25T00:10:00.002-06:00

margaret-mary
with blue eyes
and a sailor's mouth,
tended bar at O'Hare
with an easy laugh
and a hate of
ketchup on hot dogs and
the new england patriots,
68 years young -
you made an hour
seem like
five minutes.
this one's for you.

...

2008-03-18T01:04:00.003-05:00

i heard a voice telling me to get the fuck out of line, and for a moment it was unclear whether or not the voice originated in my head. i turned around, half expecting a fist to meet my turning head. what i found was a heaving chest belonging to a man with six inches and forty pounds on me. the agitation etched on his face added to the chilling effect he had on my inner child.

who was i to argue? this was but a small bump in this week's events and i'd forgotten what i wanted to buy anyhow.this shit with kenya needed to be cleared up before anything else would effectively register. the six foot four latino in front of me was the most immediate, yet least pressing of my problems. how did i fall in love so quickly, and why did it have to be with her? i didn't expect these problems when i'd asked kelly what she was doing after work, but i guess there are always consequences for your actions. fuck, where'd i put the coke. a line or six would be of great service right now.

i just wanted to write the quintessential american play. now this.

i might of been five

2008-03-18T00:46:00.003-05:00

when i was five, i killed myself.
and i've never been happier.
a new life for a new life,
one without alcoholic dreams
and panacea kisses.
one without violent outbursts of
disinherited feelings.
one without stomped hearts
or sylvia plath.
when i was five, i killed myself.
and i've never seen happiness.

people drown like this

2008-03-18T00:37:00.004-05:00

do you want this to be
that drug addiction love?
do you want this to be
that slam you against the wall
slit your wrists kind of love?
do you want this to be
that fuck twice and forget kind of love?
do you want this to be
that new housewares kind of love?
do you want this to be
that move to georgia with 4 chickens
and a goat kind of love?
do you want this to be
that beautiful and frightening, so smash
it to bits kind of love?
do you want this to be
that hair in the drain, drive me crazy
kind of love?
do you want this to be
that bones of coral, eyes of pearl
kind of love?
do you want this to be
that would you like some more
kind of love?
people drown like that.

failed haiku

2008-03-18T00:37:00.001-05:00

in yellow,
you are tiny drops
of the sun.

he knows you're disappointed, he knows you think he's weak

2008-03-18T00:33:00.002-05:00

i drink two glasses
of white zinfandel
for every cigarette
and i finished
part one of
ON THE ROAD
while taking
a shit
in the bathroom
of my parent's
north suburban
dream house,
and yet,
clarity eludes me.

...

2008-03-18T00:30:00.001-05:00

i get more familiar
with the
budweiser can
as the day
passses without you,
you were my
drink of choice
once.